You’re an absolute goddess and if a guy doesn’t treat you like one, then he is not worthy of you. If he lays a hand on you or becomes violent, leave immediately. Either way ,it doesn’t sound like you guys should be together. I developed vaginismis from my ex husband. He’s scared because he knows that you’re the real deal, and maybe, right now, that’s not what he wants. If he's distant, it's because he doesn't care enough. In other words, men generally spend more of their money on things they consider important to them. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. I hate to break it to you but your husband is a fucking rapist. After you try it once, you will be a fan. 17. I was taken aback, I said no, and that was the end of that situation. Aug. 28, 2017. Could OP even discuss what's been going on in the bedroom without her husband losing his temper? By Cosmo Luce. If he doesn’t see how great you are, then he is blind and dumb. Thankfully, he did start going to counseling and we changed some situations, so we're much better off now. What I ended up reading: A story about rape. I need advice on next steps in my relationship. Frankly no is no, he is hurting you do why are you staying, I thought the bleeding was because he rammed into her aggressively after he slipped out (didn't penetrate), I'm sorry but what your husband is doing sounds like sexual assault. The flu isn’t out to get you. Most people never see the obvious anyway. After all, he should be the one chasing you, not the other way around. That was 4 years ago now. My fiance and I went through most of a school year in which he was depressed and suicidal and all kinds of shit, and I ended up doing this a lot. I can't even begin to list all the problems I have—money, health, job, family tensions, you name it. I'm going to let you know a secret. People care about themselves and how a situation will increase what’s valuable to them. 8. I just let it happen. He tells you he loves you even if he doesn’t feel it or mean it because he doesn’t care about the aftermath, he lives for the moment. If he’s been wishy-washy with you from the beginning, then his texting is a reflection of how he feels. Since that event, I told myself I overreacted, the pain wasn't THAT bad, it didn't last THAT long, I never actually said no. Please consult a doctor and also a therapist. And he’s probably cheating anyway. Sign #7: He doesn’t ask you any questions about you and doesn’t seem interested in who you are. Anonymous: There are numerous techniques to train a male to delay orgasm including Tantric Yoga. You definitely don’t sound like you want a relationship. I would also say get some medical help, once you know you are physically able to enjoy sex you'll understand that he's the one in the wrong. I tag him in our photos and check us in places, and he doesn’t untag himself. If he doesn’t ask or doesn’t show any signs that he’s bothered with a possible competition out there, you can bet he really doesn’t care … A guy who’s head over heels in love with you will go crazy or jealous upon knowing that some other guy caught your eye. and his defense mechanism kicks in and shuts down. When your partner or family members need you, you somehow manage it to help them in the best … 5 Signs He Doesn't Care About Your Feelings & Doesn't Take The Relationship Seriously. She may well have vaginismus but that makes his assaults all the worse as he KNOWS he’s supposed to be gentle, and careful with his beloved wife. The text of the post has been preserved below. That's okay. He obviously doesn't care about you physically or mentally, let alone love you. Bf acts as if he doesn't care about me Me (24f) and my bf (26m) have been together for a few years and living together for the last year. He doesn’t deserve to have such a … I'm wondering how much OP and her husband talk/communicate on a normal basis. I am not AT ALL surprised she's experiencing regular vaginismus. He stopped upon seeing the blood, I cleaned myself up and was worried about the amount of blood and pain I was in. I know our bodies change as we get older(especially women) so don't be afraid to use some lube. Sex for him is all about being in control. No one can make a child care about something. So people see it. They Don’t Support You Back. Be honest about what you’re feeling and what you need and maybe it’ll prompt him to be honest in return. You don’t want to be with a man who has to lose you in order to finally wake up to himself and realize you are in fact what he wants, or, on top of that, a man who wouldn’t even care if he … These types of events have happened sporadically, not as noteworthy, possibly because I've taught myself to mentally shutdown during sex and not think about anything. He loves sex, and it's very easy for me to turn him on and get things going, the problem is is that I'm getting tired of being the only one to initiate it. Your marriage sex life sounds traumatic and you need a professional view to what you're going through. I agree with everyone else that this sounds very much like sexual assault/rape. Aug. 28, 2017. She has a lot of great resources. The reality is, families who don’t care for each other are ultra-common. I am so so sorry that you are in this situation. You have to learn how to cope with it. Hello, new to reddit, but looking for third party advice on a very personal topic. It makes me feel king of shitty. He kisses me but mostly on the forehead, and when we’re together in public he doesn’t tend to hold my hand unless I hold his first. You can get to know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows. From time to time, everybody makes excuses and compromises in … Things just seem to work better when there's less friction. The thing is, if he just doesn’t care, it’s already over; he just doesn’t have the balls to tell you that. He doesn’t really start conversations with me any longer (but he doesn’t avoid conversation, when I talk to him or send a text he replies right away). Once you get to a certain age, you start to understand that you need to want more for yourself. He posts about his dogs, cooking, and going fishing. Here are four. Or he’s in a emotional prison,distraught,hurt,angry,etc. If your boss waits until the required formal performance review to tell you how you’re doing (that is, if you have a review at all), he doesn’t value you. Have you had a sexual partner before? There is a user on here, https://www.reddit.com/user/Ebbie45 she is a domestic violence crisis counselor and there are a lot of resources on abusive relationships and how to safely leave one, if you choose, and how to stay safe in one, if you decide to stay. I was sexually abused and raped repeatedly by my first partner during a three year relationship. Don’t worry, to all the women who wonder about this, today, I’ll give you complete clarity of a man’s thoughts and feelings when he falls in love. Press J to jump to the feed. She doesn’t praise you publicly. But you can leave as soon as you see signs that he doesn’t care. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Once I got away from that relationship and got some counseling, sex stopped being painful with other partners. It feels like he doesn't care about me and the kids. You still care about him immensely. What OP is describing is horrifying to even hear. You have to have self-love and dignity not to chase anyone. I find what helps is if you initiate the conversation. Since he doesn't care enough about you, he has no business joining you in such a discussion. It feels like he doesn't care about me and the kids. A sudden random “how are you” text/call: Though he is ignoring you, if he thinks about you daily, he tends to start missing you more and more. I've given up on God because He doesn't seem to care about me. Need help with your relationship? I am getting so angry at him. Every syllable of this. Or he’s in a emotional prison,distraught,hurt,angry,etc. Sorry, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/relationship_advice. He says “I love you” maybe once or twice a month, and we aren’t really intimate with each other (again just once or twice a month). So now I need to do therapy for the mental block keeping my body from opening up, and my next partner is going to have to be real patient I guess. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I just let it happen. 8. And he’s probably cheating anyway. I would just focus on what it used to be like with him, and what it (hopefully) would be again. you need to leave. 5. If it doesn't, you need to stop and communicate with your partner. Here are the Top Four Signs Your Family Doesn’t Care About You. If he wants to try something a little different, he expects you to go along with it. Moderators remove posts from feeds for a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil, and true to their purpose. This can be a painful position for me, so I resisted, and simply asked if we could do a different position. Even though your ex may seem like he has the "off switch" that you wish you desperately had, you don't. It is just about him. A2A Parents are given a very difficult task. This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. That being said, sex isn't supposed to hurt so much. Sex was always painful, even when I consented. You definitely don’t sound like you want a relationship. He’s scared because he knows that you’re the real deal, and maybe, right now, that’s not what he wants. It confuses me a lot. My son is in seventh grade and is failing most classes. He wants me to apologize for giving him attitude and for what I said. If he thinks more, all he … 1. 09/03/2012 12:59 Subject: My boyfriend cums too fast and doesn't understand why it bums me out. Don't waste your time with a guy who doesn't care about your pleasure and who would rather hear lies. Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. He’s not worth it. Need help with your relationship? He is Not Willing To Spend On You. 5 Signs He Doesn't Care About Your Feelings & Doesn't Take The Relationship Seriously. This is the most obvious sign a guy will ever show, and though one of the most painful, it is the most honest. It doesn’t give a shit about you. I know he loves me, I can tell by the way he looks at me and body language in general, but he doesn’t star conversations with me, … When a guy says he doesn't want to be in a relationship, chances are he's being frank with you; he simply doesn't want to be in a relationship. When he’s leading you on, he does what’s of his best interest. Sex is supposed to feel good for both parties. In other words, men generally spend more of their money on things they consider important to them. Has it always hurt this much? He doesn’t think of you when he’s making decisions. I didnt say no, I didnt fight back, I froze. So hold on to your nerve while you dive deep into the … The mood was bad after that. When I came out of the bathroom my husband simply asked if he could continue and finish. He doesn’t want to commit, but that doesn’t mean he wants you to kick him out of your life. When I got home he told my mom what happened and they got into an argument over it. Either way ,it doesn’t sound like you guys should be together. Son Doesn't Care About School and Grades. Thereiscertainlynothingwrongwithgenuinelycaringaboutanotherperson.Andsometimeswelovesomeonee… If you’re a candidate for the black sheep journal, you’ll find redemption in these words. In bed, it’s all about him! He’s made it abundantly clear that his needs are far more important than yours. Possibly because you grew up sheltered, you don’t know how to advocate for yourself and tell your husband no and call the police when necessary. From time to time, everybody makes excuses and compromises in … It just took an opportunity to do what it’s supposed to do. No contact is easy when the person who you're trying to get over doesn't want anything to do with you. I liked sex before him, and had no problems at all. Leave. This is a clear sign that he still thinks about you. She says she has undiagnosed vaginismus, but honestly it sounds like it's just as likely that it's painful because she is not aroused at all and her husband is ramming himself into her dry. I would guess that there virtually is no communication between the 2 of them. That girl you want to date doesn’t care that you can’t get her off your mind. By Cosmo Luce. WHAT KIND OF A SELFISH SON OF A $!+*# DOES THIS... TO HIS OWN WIFE NO LESS!?!? I didnt say no, I didnt fight back, I froze. His face changed in an instant, to pure hate, and he said I had to do it. Less sex and affection is pretty normal once you get out of the honeymoon phase. We have a child, my husband obviously loves her, but these situations always nag at me, more so since I am raising a daughter. Fear will do that to you. Try doing No contact if you haven't already. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Cookies help us deliver our Services. You can get to know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows. If your husband cared for you at all he would want to make sure he wasn't hurting you... especiallydueing sex! More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. She doesn’t praise you publicly. You’re happy, and financially secure, and everyone thinks you’re the perfect couple and you’re married to an abusive, misogynistic rapist. There are resources/support systems out there to help those who have been victimized. Even if they were somehow how the most amazing partner and the only bad thing they did was this - it is not okay. I know you say God cares about us but I haven't seen any evidence of it in my life. Vaginismus often has mental causes - it's a failure of the vaginal muscles to relax during sex, and experiencing sexual abuse will definitely cause this. Except I have been struggling with our sex life, for years, and if it's normal or not. I am getting so angry at him. Since he doesn't care enough about you, he has no business joining you in such a discussion. As long as you’re clueless about your future, he doesn’t … He probably does care about you, he does enjoy spending time with you, he does like you … he just doesn’t like you enough. X Research source [16] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source It works when they’re ready to talk but nervous about broaching a subject. Or – signs your family doesn’t like you. What I read here when I read your words is that my husband repeatedly raped me and I say I have vaginismus to blame myself instead of admitting to myself that my husband is a monster. The thing is, the people that matter know all about me and are happy for us. He called me disrespectful and I shouldn’t be saying he doesn’t care when he’s trying to be a good dad to me. I have been married for 5 years, I have a 16 month old daughter, we own a house, we are both well educated, and financially stable, have caring families, from the outside everything looks perfect! If your boss waits until the required formal performance review to tell you how you’re doing (that is, if you have a review at all), he doesn’t value you. Think about it this way, do you want to put up with this for another 5 years, another 10..another 30... No! He isn’t moved when other guys get your attention. He was so pissed off when he threw away the cake. Soon after getting married, there was a string of hurtful sexual encounters. Thus a small part of him doesn’t want to lose you while the other part wants to know what you are doing. Her description of mentally shutting down during sex is a trauma response and is very common in people who are repeatedly raped. I can't count the number of times I have been the one to stop because I can't bear the thought of hurting her. Press J to jump to the feed. Toxic family members can cause a lot of stress when they show the signs your family doesn’t care about you (signs 1-4 below). His face changed in an instant, to pure hate, and he said I had to do it. Just wanted to add, if not in the US visit www.hotpeachpages.net. And, yes, definitely check out ebbie's profile. I hate that this is a thing, but it is a thing. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Cookies help us deliver our Services. He doesn’t care about you one bit. The answer to your question is so simple, yet sooo many people seem to dance around it. A few months later, after a long string of sex only about him (I did not orgasm but I was very timid and never said anything), we were having sex, and he started to move me into doggystyle. I would leave the relationship/sex, bc it’s abuse. He doesn’t care if you finish. Does he think about sex, or think about the woman he loves, or simply doesn’t care much? I don’t care if he doesn’t post about me for acquaintances to see. After that, I stopped trying to make sex about me, or even us. Just like anything else in life you want to master, it will require consistent practice. Once he’s finished, he’s ready to go straight to sleep — he couldn’t care … This is awful! But why is this so difficult for a parent, a adult? 2. He is Not Willing To Spend On You. Q. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Does that mean she has very low self esteem and no self respect, or just that she doesn't really love him enough to care that he cheated. Like you had no reason to talk to him that way. But, to numb the feelings a little bit, I sometimes just constantly remind myself that the person doesn't share the same feelings and that they aren't good enough for me or don't appreciate my many, great qualities I have and that I shouldn't waste my time caring about someone who doesn't care about me. So for as long as he can, he’s going to keep you in the dark. He treats me so well, but more like a friend than anything. If he doesn’t care enough to make you happy he probably doesn’t care much at all. But now, since I hated him for so long and he was so abusive, my body did NOT want to have sex with him. It may be time for this parent to change her focus. He doesn’t consider what you want, he only thinks about his needs. Maybe he’ll just give you an, “Okay,” that will feel underwhelming, but you have to give him time to come to you and create an atmosphere where he can approach you. I've given up on God because He doesn't seem to care about me. You don’t have time to waste it on someone who doesn’t value it. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. They have been asked to help someone to grow and learn to be an adult. I know you say God cares about us but I haven't seen any evidence of it in my life. Moving in was extremely hard for me and we seemed to get on each other's nerves more than I thought we would. If overall he seems really into you (and when a guy likes you, it’s easy to see), and he doesn’t text back, then it’s probably because he’s busy or distracted.