Sometimes the grandparents are pressuring them to go through with it; sometimes they are simply looking for a beautiful backdrop for what they see as a purely cultural rite of passage for their baby. She tries to present the church’s teaching on godparents as a positive opportunity rather than a list of rules. “It’s very difficult. A non-Catholic Christian may serve as a Christian witness, but there must be at least one Catholic godparent. During the celebration of the sacrament of baptism, the godparents make a promise to assist the parents of the child in fulfilling their responsibility of forming the child in the Catholic faith. “But I think the babies intercede for them.”. If this person is taking tentative steps [toward the church] and is hit with obstacles, he’s going to say, ‘Why did I bother?’ and give up. They were accountable for ensuring the credibility of anyone joining the faith. “She brought a lot of light into the world for a long time.”. “I talk to them about picking out a cross and putting it in their child’s room, about getting a children’s Bible and reading it to them. Make this bonding moment fun so that it is something that your godchild can look forward to. It can be tricky business when choosing a godparent for your child, but ultimately, the godparents should be in communion with the Church, love your child, and be an active part in their Catholic upbringing. Godparents must be at least 16 years old and may not be the child's parent (step parent, father or … “They want something for their kids, or they see something in their fiancé’s family, and they want to be a part of it.”. But sometimes, said Catherine Crino, they want something more. Despite the life-long implications of choosing godparents, the parents themselves are often not the only party with a say in the decision. Super simple stuff,” she said. “While Cathy was still pregnant, my role was to pray for them,” Ms. Nelson said. When Ms. Hayes chose godparents, her faith had already deepened and matured; but Amy Ekblad, a homeschooling mother of 13 children, did not come back to the faith until around the time of her fifth child’s birth. It was understood that he would help raise the boy if the parents died, though. This is usually interpreted as an age requirement or at least 16 years old. Choosing a Godparent: The choice of godparents is very important since they serve as role models for the child by living a fully Christian life and encouraging the child in the experience of the Catholic Faith. ​Does this person have the solid moral character necessary to become a good role model for the child? A baptized non-Catholic may be picked as a Christian Witness if he or she meets the set requirements. We ask our visitors to confirm their email to keep your account secure and make sure you're able to receive email from us. Choosing a Godparent How to chose a Godparent(s) for your child. Ms. Nelson said, “I say he’s not Catholic—yet.”. When Ms. Adams’s husband, Stacey, was married to his now ex-wife, they chose his best friend and her sister as godparents to their three sons. ​Many times, parents choose their child’s godparents simply because they have been part of their family’s life. The login page will open in a new tab. Godparents must be fully initiated members of the Catholic Church who are at least 16 years of age. Read an excerpt from Fr. If the person to be baptized is a baby or young child, the godparent or godparents speak on his or her behalf at the baptism, responding to the question, “What do you ask of God’s church?” with the answer “Faith!”, But on the godparents’ role after the baptism, the church is less specific. 1. Godparents play a significant role on the day of the baptism. Leticia Ochoa Adams, a writer who lives in Texas, said that in Hispanic culture choosing godparents is almost like adding to the family. Baptism - Choosing Godparents The responsibility assumed by a godparent is not one to be taken lightly, and parents are encouraged to choose carefully. Godparents live a life in harmony with the faith and strive to actively live out their commitment to Christ and to … They pressured the parents to abort, but as staunch Catholics, Cathy and her husband resisted. The godparent’s faith need not … Please log in again. The work of choosing … We ask readers to log in so that we can recognize you as a registered user and give you unrestricted access to our website. “I don’t know if that’s a thing,” she said. The Godparent must be suitable for this role and have the intention of fulfilling it. We have one practicing Catholic friend close enough to be a godparent and she and her husband are already godparents to our 4 and 2 year old! “I just feel it in my heart,” she said. Someone from one of the Eastern Churches may be a godparent, but only if there is also a Catholic godparent. When Betsy died, over 1,000 people attended her funeral, where the priest reminded the congregation of the candle that Ms. Nelson and her husband had held on Betsy’s behalf at her baptism nine years before. Some of her children, who range in age from 1 to 26, are now old enough to be godparents for their own siblings. But she calls her granddaughter’s godmother “the ultimate godparent,” who brings Christmas and birthday presents, lets her goddaughter walk the Stations of the Cross with her during Lent and prays the rosary for her every day. “The majority probably aren’t practicing [Catholics]. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. Choose an eligible Godparent(s). “It brought him back to the parish, back to Mass, back to being engaged in the life of the church in a way he hadn’t been before,” Ms. Nelson said. It was the baptismal sponsor’s job not only to assist the new Christian in the development of his faith but to vouch for his sincerity. But Maria Hayes, who immigrated from Warsaw two years ago, said that at least in Poland, strong religious identity does not always translate into strong personal faith. Some describe feeling pressure from friends and family to choose someone they consider to be unsuitable for the task. No Catholic family members on either side unfortunately. “They want something, but they can’t articulate it at all,” Ms. Crino said. Who can be a Godparent? This was the case with Ms. Adams’s own godmother, who no longer acknowledges their relationship. Tiny pieces of plastic waste, already found at the top of Mount Everest and the bottom of the ocean, may now have a toehold in the human womb, writes Kathleen Bonnette. 7 tips on what to listen to in prayer. Choosing the right Godparents for your child is a very important decision. Is this person reliable enough to maintain a long-term relationship with the godchild? “I was absolutely floored. We can't do it without you—America Media relies on generous support from our readers. She said the book “assumed a level of conversation with the faith that a lot of parents just don’t have.”, “Someone practicing, close to God, someone approachable, honest about the faith, someone I am close with.”, Early in her career, Ms. Crino would try to engage new parents in “long conversations about St. Augustine and original sin,” until she realized that the new moms were “ready to kill [her] because it was time to nurse.”. ​​The Catholic Church also has a set of specific requirements for people who are to fulfill the role of godparent. Today, it is far less likely that some impostor would seek baptism under false pretenses. But this ubiquitous Catholicism, she said, is mainly a cultural identity and lacks a spiritual component. “No one gets involved in church ministry because they want to make people unhappy,” Ms. Nelson said. In the early days of Christianity, when persecution was rampant, the situation was reversed. “But sometimes the rules bring people back,” Ms. Nelson said. “These are folks who are raised with nothing. “Only two go on the register, but we put them all on the certificate,” Ms. Crino said. 2. Sometimes, parents want to honor (or appease) so many people that they choose six, seven or eight godparents, even though canon law allows for no more than two. “Asking someone to be a godparent is a big deal, kind of like asking someone to walk you down the aisle at your wedding.”. Baptism rites all over the country use the same words, but what it means to be “ready to help” varies by region, culture, generation and even by individual Catholic. If you are choosing only one godparent, you may have either gender. That godparent's name is entered into the parish record book as the "official" godparent … Choosing a friend or relative as godparent may enlarge the family, but it can also add to family drama and discord. Instead, Ms. Crino said, “They pick nice people who sometimes have less of a clue than the parents do.”. If you are choosing two godparents, one must be male and the other female. The priest may allow someone younger than 16 to be a a godparent, if he or she meets the other requirements, He or she cannot be a Catholic who has left the church, How Catholics Celebrate The Feast Of The Most Precious Blood Of Jesus, History of the Catholic Charismatic Movement. She said her tio was a “good Catholic,” but she never expected him to teach her son any theology. Instead, parents often turn up at the parish office asking for baptism without understanding in any depth what the sacrament means. Choosing a Godparent: The day of Baptism is a very special day. Here are some key things which might help you decide: Godparents will be people who’ll be in touch with your family for many years to come. raise your child in the Catholic Faith. At least one of the godparents must be a member of the Catholic Church. The real role of godparents is revealed in the years following the godchild’s baptism. Then her friend asked her to become the godmother of her first son. He was the one who had rescued her from an abusive household and raised her. Only a practicing Catholic who meets the qualifications of a confirmed Catholic, age 16 or older, and has received the Sacrament of the Eucharist, may be a godparent or sponsor for baptism. Even if they are practicing Catholics, she said, many do not know a single person who fulfills the criteria to be a godparent. Seeking Advice Talk with your spouse. Of course, we all would like to honor those who are dear to us, but the Baptism of your child may not be the right time to do so. You can’t drag someone into the church. Thanks to fairy tales like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, the concept of godparents is often taken to mean magical beings who grant wishes or make our lives easier. this helps us promote a safe and accountable online community, and allows us to update you when other commenters reply to your posts. “She was a child of the light,” Ms. Nelson remembers the priest saying. A godparent must be Catholic. “It’s not a matter of finding the most accurate argument for the faith. Members of the Eastern Churches are distinguished from members of ecclesial communities. Ms. Crino said that her religious education class now includes very few Hispanics, a group that had previously attended in larger numbers. ​Being a godparent is therefore more than just fulfilling a centuries old Catholic tradition. ​Does the person faithfully believe and practice the teachings of the Catholic Church? There was nothing that could be done. He was traditional like that,” Ms. Adams said. Ms. Ekblad, a charismatic Catholic, said that she lets God guide her choice for godparents. “It was 100 percent a choice of respect,” Ms. Adams said. How to Choose a Godparent. Choosing Godparents: Godparents are to be Roman Catholics sixteen years or older who have been baptized and confirmed and have received the Eucharist. They see their peers receiving sacraments and want that for themselves. The most fundamental way to fulfill this role is through prayer so always make your godchild a part of your daily prayers. Ms. Hayes left the faith but reverted as a young adult. You can also manage your account details and your print subscription after logging in. It’s [a matter of] God’s grace and his own path.”. Basically, Ruby and her family adopted all of us.”. Catholic etiquette dictates that a potential godparent be a practicing member of the church. “We think of water when we think about baptism, but what about the light, the way that light gets spread and who’s responsible for maintaining and sharing that light?” Ms. Nelson said. Rather than using baptism as an opportunity to draw in sponsors, the church needed to be wary of infiltrators posing as catechumens. When Catholics come to the United States, they transmit their faith for about a generation and a half, she said. “You’re trying to take people where they’re at.”, When parents choose godparents, they often do not look to people who know more about the faith than they do and who might fill in the gaps in their child’s religious education. “She walked, she talked, she was the school spelling bee champ, she played soccer, she was in plays. Their parents, if they are Catholic at all, are usually agreeable to the idea but are not always invested or catechized. And she holds out hope that the child’s father will also draw closer to the church. If you login and register your print subscription number with your account, you’ll have unlimited access to the website. She had heart surgery and lived to be 9 years old before her shunt finally failed. You can either click on the link in your confirmation email or simply re-enter your email address below to confirm it. “Now that I understand the role of a godparent, which is to be a support in teaching the faith and helping with the formation of the child, I feel like I was cheated and like some of my kids were, too,” Ms. Adams said. Therefore, each parent should choose a godparent not just because of a blood relationship or friendship; rather, a godparent should be a trustworthy witness of the faith who will help the godchild attain salvation. After a series of divorces, remarriages and other upheavals, Ms. Adams’s husband’s sister is now her ex-boyfriends’ children’s godmother, and the man for whom Stacey’s ex-wife left him is his children’s godfather—for life. Simcha Fisher is a speaker, freelance writer and author of The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning. Password reset instructions will be sent to your registered email address. ​Godparents were also responsible for preserving Christian doctrine and ensuring that it was not infiltrated by pagans. Why am I being asked to create an account? Considering the influence and custodial responsibility that godparents have over their godchild, much more thought must be put into choosing a godfather or godmother. The choice of a godparent is not yours alone. Your source for jobs, books, retreats, and much more. Ugh, the godparent issue is the bane of my existence. The requirements for godparents are: Being a practicing Catholic Be over 16 years of age First, Godparents were essential in attesting to the integrity of the individual who was joining the Catholic faith, often because s/he was an adult receiving the Sacraments of Initiation (as in RCIA today). We sometimes forget the spiritual role that godparents have in the lives of their children. “My job was to pray with them and to pray for them and to be present as much as they needed me.”. While some faith communities may expect godparents to raise their godchildren if the parents die, neither civil nor church law recognizes such an obligation. A godparent must be a good example of living their Catholic faith. She had a beautiful life,” Ms. Nelson said. Rep. Tom Suozzi: How Joe Biden’s Catholic faith will guide his presidency, God’s voice or mine? Godparents or the sponsors of the baptized infant were accountable for helping parents guide their children in their journey of faith. Afterward, more than one person told Ms. Nelson that they had been away from the church but that the funeral sermon made them rethink things, and they wanted to start going to Mass again. The role our godparents have in our journey here on earth is actually so much more significant so we must be careful in the people we choose to take up that role. There are several requirements for choosing Catholic godparents that are outlined in the Code of Canon Law, 872-874, as explained by Madrid. if you are trying to comment, you must log in or set up a new account. Non-Hispanic Catholics are sometimes taken aback by the warmth and enthusiasm Hispanic godparents or confirmation sponsors (often the same person) bring to the relationship. “I just picked people I liked [for godparents].”. This was how the initial role of godparents came to existence. The godparent must be a practicing Catholic in good standing with the Church who has received the sacraments of holy Eucharist and confirmation and “leads a life in harmony with the faith and the role to be undertaken.” The sponsor must not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized. “Sometimes I hear a voice; it’s different every time.”. Ms. Ekblad has suffered many miscarriages, and she chooses godparents for those children, too. Godparents are often chosen before babies are born. The baby, named Betsy, was born almost full term. Ms. Adams was raised culturally Catholic—“statues all over the place,” she said—but her mother did not go to Mass, and Ms. Adams drifted toward the Baptist Church. Be creative in how you reach out to your godchild. The doctors said that if she survived birth, she would be blind, unable to walk or talk and would only ever suffer. Joan Nelson, the director of evangelization for young families at St. Edward the Confessor Church in Richmond, Va., is intimately familiar with that need for community. She blogs daily at simchafisher.com and weekly at The Catholic Weekly. There are many facets and factors to choosing a godparent depending on whether you’re approaching it in a religious or symbolic way. They want something for their kids, or they see something in their fiancé’s family, and they want to be a part of it.”, Years ago, she co-authored a book on baptism preparation, but she said it would not be useful now, considering how poorly catechized so many parents are. If you're baptizing your child in the Church, you will want to check with your spiritual leader about the prerequisites for being a godparent. So how does one go about this task? Since you’re a frequent reader of our website, we want to be able to share even more great, As a frequent reader of our website, you know how important, Godfriends: when your godchild happens to be an adult, In rare rebuke, Cardinal Cupich criticizes USCCB president’s letter to President Biden, Pope Francis sends greeting to President Biden, contrasting with sharper message from head of U.S. bishops, How Joe Biden’s Catholic faith will shape his relationship with Pope Francis—and the U.S. bishops, Five faith facts about Biden VP Kamala Harris, O Death, Where Is Thy Sting? A correction has been made to this article, which appeared in the October 15, 2018 issue. According to many surveys, a majority of Catholics are clueless about the role of godparents in the child’s spiritual life. This sacrament is celebrated only once in a person’s life, making it a day to be remembered. Sometimes it is someone she would have never considered on her own or someone the family does not see often. For more on choosing godparents, check out the FAQ above, Belonging: Baptism in the Family of God – Role of Godparents and Fr. When Joan Nelson’s lifelong friend Cathy asked her to be the godmother for her unborn daughter, she readily agreed. The primary role of the godparents is to witness to the faith of God, and to be willing to share that faith in a supportive way with their godchild as well as to support the faith-life of the parents. The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that “faith needs the community of believers,” and it names godparents as the most immediate members of that community for the newly baptized as their faith “unfolds.”, Godparents, according to the catechism, “must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized.” They are an important part of the “ecclesial community [that] bears some responsibility for the development and safeguarding of the grace given at baptism.”, Godparents, according to the Catechism, “must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized.”. ​In an ideal situation, a child’s godparents must be available to guide a child during different important life events like birthdays, first communions, graduations and school programs.This may not always be possible but a godparent can be part of these milestones in other ways like sending greeting cards with words of wisdom and Bible verses or giving meaningful gifts that their godchild can use to deepen their faith such as rosary beads and Christian books. “Now we’re connected forever, both ways,” she said. “I was a nominal Catholic, at best, until about 15 years ago,” Ms. Ekblad said. “My tio was super serious, but he was like a dad to me and Anthony, so the godparent thing just took it a step further. This information will answer many of your questions concerning Church requirements for Godparents. A non-Catholic person may not be a godparent at a Catholic baptism. Ms. Crino is the director of religious education and a pastoral associate at St. Emily Church in Mount Prospect, Ill. She has been working for the church in Chicago for 34 years. As all of us are practicing Catholics, my sister and her husband wanted to have my brother and I over for a “godparent lunch” to discuss how they saw our role as godparents in their child’s life and what we understood this important role to be. How to choose: How are they supposed to be chosen, and what are their duties? Choosing the right people as godparents for your child is a big decision. For some parents the choice seems obvious; for others it is a struggle. James Martin’s new book on prayer. It is expected that a godparent be a firm believer in the teachings of the Catholic Church, and be ready to take on the role of a spiritual guide for the newly baptized. A godparent must be willing to encourage the child to develop and grow in the Catholic faith. Baptism rites all over the country use the same words, but what it means to be “ready to help” varies by region, culture, generation and even by individual Catholic. Canon law says godparents must be practicing Catholics, be at least 16 years old (with some exceptions) and have received the three sacraments of initiation (baptism, confirmation and the Eucharist). A baptized non-Catholic may be picked as a Christian Witness if he or she meets the set requirements. To begin the … I never went to church as a child, but I went to first Communion and got a party.” Her own godparents were friends of her nonbelieving parents, and she has no relationship with them. “Her family was already buying candles and rosaries in Mexico, and she was planning to get Bailey stuff on her trip to Israel. Please contact us at members@americamedia.org with any questions. Thus, godparents are to be people whose faith lends itself to this … Please visit our membership page to learn how you can invest in our work by subscribing to the magazine or making a donation. “Many Americans would be surprised at how liberal Poles are,” Ms. Hayes said. A large number of those surveyed said they view the role of a godparent as simply an honorary title bestowed on some favorite relative or friend in a one-day ceremonial event. ​Godparents have a very influential role not just in the lives of their godchildren but also in the family and even society as a whole. I was absolutely floored. They may be relatives or friends of the family. You can do this by setting aside a special time that you and your godchild can spend together. The church requires at least one godparent who is a practicing, confirmed Catholic age 16 or older. Then they discovered that the child ’ s godparents under duress, simply to avoid offending family.! A part of their family ’ s my fault he ’ s not a matter of the! Something that your godchild important spiritual lessons for life if you login and register your print after! Him to teach her son any theology and register your print subscription with. Simply about what parents are asking for baptism without understanding in any what! Ll think it ’ s Catholic faith present the Church many facets and factors to choosing a can! To learn how you reach out to your registered email address below confirm... 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