One of the most powerful statements in this sermon was the following: The reality of grief is the solitude of pain, the feeling that your heart is in pieces, your mind's A Eulogy for Alex Editor's note: Ten days after his son, Alex, drove off a bridge and was killed in a car accident, Reverend William Sloane Coffin delivered the following sermon to his congregation at Riverside Church in New York City. ), Podcast #858: The Affectionate, Ambiguous, and Surprisingly Ambivalent Relationship Between Siblings, How to Fight Entitlement and Develop Gratitude in Your Kids, How and Why to Hold a Weekly Marriage Meeting, You Dont Have to Be Your Dad: How to Become Your Familys Transitional Character, Podcast #810: How to Turn a Boy Into a Man, Sunday Firesides: Climb the Ladder of Love, Podcast #865: How to Win Friends and Influence People in the 21st Century, Podcast #863: Key Insights From the Longest Study on Happiness, Podcast #875: Authority Is More Important Than Social Skills, Podcast #874: Throw a 2-Hour Cocktail Party That Can Change Your Life, 9 Mental Distortions That Are Sabotaging Your Social Life, How to Make the Perfect Snowball: An Illustrated Guide, Podcast #869: The Survival Myths That Can Get You Killed, Skill of the Week: Survive Falling Through Ice, Podcast #848: The 5 Priorities of Short-Term Survival, William Sloane Coffin Sermon Archive Project, Man Knowledge: Legends of the Northwest Mountain Men, A Simple Guide to Writing and Delivering a Eulogy, A Kind of, Sort of Eulogy for the Declarative Sentence, 30 Days to a Better Man Day 21: Write Your Own Eulogy, Man Knowledge: 5 Pirates Every Man Should Know. This is beautiful!!! We see acuter quite And finally I know that when Alex beat me to the grave, the finish line was not Boston Harbor in the middle of the night. I walked a mile with Sorrow As the grief that once seemed unbearable begins to turn now to bearable sorrow, the truths in the "right" biblical passages are beginning, once again, to take hold: "Cast thy burden upon the Lord and He shall strengthen thee"; "Weeping may endure for the night but joy cometh in the morning"; "Lord, by thy favor thou hast made my mountain to stand strong"; "For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling"; "In this world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world"; "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.". These are some of the popular topics this blog covers. Lewis wrote, "They say 'the coward dies many times'; so does the beloved. Coffin about his experiences as a Freedom Rider from NPR; Read a transcript of an interview with Rev. 00:00 $ 75.00 Sermons from Riverside Church 1982 I think it will serve as a reminder of many stupid things we all have said to people who are grieving the main one probably being As his younger brother put it simply, standing at the head of the casket at the Boston funeral, You blew it, buddy. Until one has personally experienced the loss of a loved one, one can not understand the feelings about the death both positive and negative. God did not bash the truck into your fathers car. The Rev. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. For some reason, nothing so infuriates me as the incapacity of seemingly intelligent people to get it through their heads that God doesnt go around this world with his fingers on triggers, his fists around knives, his hands on steering wheels. My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Yes, but at least, My God, my God; and the psalm only begins that way, it doesnt end that way. William Sloane Coffin Compassion, Sentimental, Individual William Sloane Coffin (2004). MOYERS: Youre not supposed to outlive your children, are you? And of course I know, even when pain is deep, that God is good. But violent deaths, such as the one Alex died to understand those is a piece of cake. They are gone. The more we love the bigger we are, There is no smaller package in the world than a man all wrapped up in himself.. I know all the right biblical passages, including Blessed are those who mourn, and my faith is no house of rest, came from fellow reverends, a few of whom proved they knew their cards; these passages are true, I know. Still there is much by way of consolation. I mentioned the healing flood of letters. As almost all of you know, a week ago last Monday night, driving in a terrible storm, my son Alexander who to his friends was a real day-brightener, and to his family fair as a star when only one is shining in the sky my twenty-four-year-old Alexander, who enjoyed beating his old man at every game and in every race, beat his father to the grave. For instance, the Christians persecuted the Jews for nearly two thousand years because as they said, they believed the Jews killed Jesus. Heres how Coffin explained how he managed to write and deliver this eulogy so soon after his sons death (from an interview with Bill Moyers): COFFIN: Well. Thanks for posting this. ABERNETHY: In our conversation, Coffin quoted words he liked, words he attributed to Irenaeus, an early church father: "The glory of God is a human being fully alive." The night after Alex died I was sitting in the living room of my sisters house outside of Boston, when the front door opened and in came a nice-looking, middle-aged woman, carrying about eighteen quiches. These sermons were delivered from the pulpit at Riverside Church, N.Y.C. When she saw me, she shook her head, then headed for the kitchen, saying sadly over her shoulder, "I just don't understand the will of God." Stories and Reflections on Service, Ram Dass and Paul Gorman, Knocking on Heavens Door: The Path to a Better Way of Death, Katy Butler, Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche. For some reason, nothing so infuriates me as the incapacity of seemingly intelligent people to get it through their heads that God doesnt go around this world with his fingers on triggers, his fists around knives, his hands on steering wheels. Nowhere in the scripture does it say, God is car accident or God is death. God is justice and kindness, mercy, and always always love. And the wise mans gone back. 20. Rev. The fleet foot on the sill of shade, There are a lot of excuses that people give for not participating more in the kinds of things that you used to lead. You blew it." Why would someone grieve for a loved one who is in heaven or in paradise. I too have thought Gods heart is the first to break. William Sloane Coffin Jr. preached these Sunday sermons from the pulpit of the Riverside Church in New York City. As his younger brother put it simply, standing at the head of the casket at the Boston funeral, "You blew it, buddy. What can be done to turn this public support into organized opposition? I'm always puzzled at these Moslem women who wail like Banshees when their terrorist sons are killed as what they believe to be martyrs. Runners whom renown outran And neer a word said she; Theres such wisdom in these words that Ive found it bears re-reading from time to time. There's something in the flight If you aren't sure what RSS is you'll find our beginner's guide to RSS useful. Contributions to support this project can always be made through PayPal (david@davidcoffin.com). William Sloane Coffin served as chaplain of Yale University and Williams College, was senior minister of Riverside Church, and is President Emeritus of SANE/FREEZE: Campaign for Global Security. A formula, A phrase remains.but the best is lost. But oh, the things I learned from her This is the tenth year of the complete 10 year collection of sermons. If a week ago last Monday, a lamp went out, it was because, for him at least, the Dawn had come. Thats why immediately after such a tragedy people must come to your rescue, people who only want to hold your hand, not to quote anybody or even say anything, people who simply bring food and flowers the basics of beauty and life people who sign letters simply, Your brokenhearted sister. In other words, in my intense grief I felt some of my fellow reverends not many, and none of you, thank God were using comforting words of Scripture for self-protection, to pretty up a situation whose bleakness they simply couldnt face. That makes two of us. What should churches be doing in the face of whats going on in our country right now? When parents die, as my mother did last month, they take with them a large portion of the past. And Christ spent an inordinate amount of time delivering people from paralysis, insanity, leprosy, and muteness. Instantly I was up and in hot pursuit, swarming all over her. View all William Sloane Coffin Quotes. This is the seventh year of the complete ten year collection of sermons. Some of the very best, and easily the worst, knew their Bibles better than the human condition. "Human unity is not something we are called on to create only something we are called on to recognize." William Crawley | 12:42 UK time, Friday, 27 July 2007. Q: Why do you think that is, in the country as a whole? These sermons were delivered from the pulpit at Riverside Church, N.Y.C. William Sloane Coffin Jr. in 1987. Yale University's chaplain, the Rev. We see acuter quite "Eulogy for Alex" by William Sloane Coffin After the death of his wife, C.S. Here are additional selected citations in chronological order. This is the ninth year of the complete ten year collection of sermons. Famously, at the height of that conflict . Practicing wholesale justice Interview with Bob Abernathy August 27, 204 The Rev. When sorrow walked with me. The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. Want to start taking action on the content you read on AoM? This eulogy from William Sloane Coffin following the death of his son offers words of wisdom and hope for those struggling with the tragedy in Connecticut. T he Rev. Lewis wrote, They say the coward dies many times; so does the beloved. You will also find a collection of his prayers that concluded many of his sermons. I sought the Lord, and he heard me, In my email signature, I have this quote by him: The world is too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love.. Q: It must make you terribly frustrated to see all the things you think are wrong and not being righted, and not be able to play the part in leading those movements that you once did. If the order gets mixed up, thats misery. William Sloane Coffin Jr. preached these Sunday sermons from the pulpit of the Riverside Church in New York City. Receive small business resources and advice about entrepreneurial info, home based business, business franchises and startup opportunities for entrepreneurs. I did grief work. This is amazing. Cars skid out of control on icy roads, healthy cells are consumed by cancerous ones. The night after Alex died I was sitting in the living room of my sisters house outside of Boston, when the front door opened and in came a nice-looking, middle-aged woman, carrying about eighteen quiches. Townsman of a stiller town. Brett & Kate McKay March 18, 2017 Last updated: June 16, 2021. Rev. But just one thing before you read it Heres one of my favorite Coffin-isms, from an interview with Bill Moyers when Coffin was 80: Chirping optimism is terrible. The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love, The Rev William Sloane Coffin A radical preacher and antiwar activist, he took on the American establishment Christopher Reed Thu 13 Apr 2006 19.04 EDT The upbringing of William Sloane. Q: We've been talking about a lot of big problems. The Rev. William Sloane Coffin. If a week ago last Monday, a lamp went out, it was because, for him at least, the Dawn had come. Transcript - William Sloane Coffin's Eulogy for Alex Ten days after his son, Alex, was killed in a car accident, Reverend William Sloane Coffin delivered this moving eulogy turned sermon, filled with deep truth and deep pain about the realities of death and the true (not trite) hope we have in God. My own consolation lies in knowing that it was not the will of God that Alex die; that when the waves closed over the sinking car, Gods heart was the first of all our hearts to break. They accepted that it was god's will. They said it was god's will, that she is in heaven now and they moved on without the tearjerking remorse many who call them true believers in a faith feel. And hold to the low lintel up Rev. Click the cart icon next to a prayer in the player below to add a prayer to your cart. Shoulder-high we bring you home, My own broken heart is mending, and largely thanks to so many of you, my dear parishioners; for if in the last week I have relearned one lesson, it is that love not only begets love, it transmits strength. The Art of Manliness participates in affiliate marketing programs, which means we get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links. As the grief that once seemed unbearable begins to turn now to bearable sorrow, the truths in the right biblical passages are beginning, once again, to take hold: Cast thy burden upon the Lord and He shall strengthen thee; Weeping may endure for the night but joy cometh in the morning; Lord, by thy favor thou hast made my mountain to stand strong; For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling; In this world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world; The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. And finally I know that when Alex beat me to the grave, the finish line was not Boston Harbor in the middle of the night. I walked a mile with Sorrow And neer a word said she; But the things I learned from her But oh, the things I learned from her When sorrow walked with me. You gave me what God gives all of us minimum protection, maximum support. Another consolation, of course, will be the learning which better be good, given the price. Rev. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. But I do not approve. This album is a collection of prayers from the end of the sermons; 1977-1979. Some of the very best, and easily the worst, knew their Bibles better than the human condition. We have to be forced down. The reality of grief is the absence of God My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? The reality of grief is the solitude of pain, the feeling that your heart is in pieces, your minds a blank, that there is no joy the world can give like that it takes away. (Lord Byron). Reverend William Sloane Coffin was an outspoken minister, long-time civil rights advocate, and international peace movement activist. RN: What should the U.S. government do now? Theres something in the flight That clarifies the sight And decks the rays. These are all end of sermon prayers from the Sunday sermon delivered at Riverside Church. When parents die, as my mother did last month, they take with them a large portion of the past. But its a fact: few of us are naturally profound. After the tsunami, some Moslem clerics said it was god's punishment for their sins. When its true and painful, say it softly, None of us have the right to avert our gaze. Rev. Houseman, To an Athlete Dying Young. And I wept and I wept. And of course I know, even when pain is deep, that God is good. Coffin's son, Alex, tragic death in an automobile accident. Gracious God, whose own Son's term of service to humanity was so full that its brevity was no distress, we call to mind on this Memorial Sunday those "who will not grow old as we who are left to grow old," those whose lives were too brief for us but long enough, perhaps, for thee. But its a fact: few of us are naturally profound. You gave me what God gives all of us minimum protection, maximum support. And that's what hundreds of you understood so beautifully. ABERNETHY: I spoke with Coffin about growing old. When a person dies, there are many things that can be said, and there is at least one thing that should never be said. Fragrant is the blossom. We only recommend products we genuinely like, and purchases made through our links support our mission and the free content we publish here on AoM. God gave man dominion over the world at the beginning - and free will - and man so man has had the responsibility for his conduct since then, and for infecting all of creation with his sin. I said. That's why immediately after such a tragedy people must come to your rescue, people who only want to hold your hand, not to quote anybody or even say anything, people who simply bring food and flowers the basics of beauty and life people who sign letters simply, "Your brokenhearted sister." Still there is much by way of consolation. Another consolation, of course, will be the learning which better be good, given the price. I was impressed by the Amish last year when that young girl was killed. --Robert Browning Hamilton. Lewis wrote, They say the coward dies many times; so does the beloved. January 6, 1968 Spock and Coffin Indicted For Activity Against Draft By FRED P. GRAHAM . Q: Where does the rise of conservatism, especially on the religious Right among Protestant evangelicals, fit into this whole thing? William Sloane Coffin Jr. (June 1, 1924 - April 12, 2006) was an American Christian clergyman and long-time peace activist. And Christ spent an inordinate amount of time delivering people from paralysis, insanity, leprosy, and muteness. This is the fourth year of the complete ten year collection of sermons. Its presence in my mind has been so frequent, especially recently after the loss of a dear friend, that I finally decided to share it here. 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